When we boil it down, marriage and relationship is a choosing. When we couple, we are in effect stating to our friends, our families, to the universe and to our partners that we pick this person. It is stipulated in the marriage vows. “I take (choose) this person as my lawfully wedded wife/husband, to have and to hold, in good times and in bad, in sickness and in health, forsaking all others, for as long as we both shall live.” This is a truly profound statement of choice. Read More →
Some of you may have already heard that love is not one of our basic emotions. It may sound like heresy but love is not what you feel about another nor is it what you might say. Love is what you do. With the couples in my private practice in the East village of NY (www.eastvillagecounseling.com) and in my Couples Communication Workshops at Midtown Marriage and Family Therapy (www.midtownmft.com), I am trumpeting the news about love ad nauseum. Read More →
I recently attended a weekend workshop about anger from the Buddhist perspective, and I was reminded of some beliefs that are present in the way I work with clients struggling with anger.
One of the things Narayan Liebenson Grady said was “in the arising of anger there can be a temporary feeling of strength. The sense of power and pleasure [which can sometimes occur] can be seductive. [However] After this initial feeling we can start losing power and our perspective gets lost. We only see partially. Read More →
Communication skills training in NYC for couples and individuals for problem resolution, to resolve conflict and communicate more effectively.
From Isolation to Connection:
How to speak and listen in ways that are felt, heard, and understood. Read More →
Sometimes we feel the angriest with the ones we love most, and we find ourselves in repeating patterns of reactivity, when what we really crave is to be heard and understood by our partners. How do we break through this and get our needs and wants met?
We feel more and react more with those closest to us. This may be because they matter to us more or simply because we spend more time with them. We have needs and wants that go unmet because we haven’t learned how to communicate them successfully. We often create expectations and then Read More →
When we fail to approach life’s struggles as a team, we can fall into the same repetitive arguments where our conflicts remain unsolved. We fight each other instead of working together to solve our problems. This article will highlight a few examples of healthy/ conscious starts to difficult conversations.
“I am so angry right now I feel like I can just explode. Read More →
A large focus of my practice is helping people become conscious. This involves being genuine and authentic with ourselves, taking ownership over our needs and wants, listening and responding to others honestly and openly, and wanting the same in return for ourselves.
A very important piece of this process is how we treat one another. If we faced those we loved with purpose, and treated them with kindness, respect, and love – how would our relationships change? I work with many couples who truly love one another and at the same time treat each other very badly.
Living a conscious life IS attainable. I find that many of us just react to our environment, triggers, partners, etc. with anger, fear, contempt, blame, or criticism. What if we were able to take a few seconds and pause before we speak or act, and ask ourselves – “How am I treating the person in front of me? Read More →